Observing progress As your spouse works toward their vision, look for opportunities to give encouragement. If significant progress is being made, be sure to bring attention to the success and celebrate. Praise your spouse genuinely for who they are and what they have done. If the project is stalled because of circumstances or obstacles, be a cheerleader to your spouse. Hurdles can be discouraging and the temptation might be to quit. Let them know that the goal is still worth pursuing and that you heartily desire that they continue. If mistakes are made, be quick to show support. Errors can cut down self confidence. The pain of failure can lead to giving up. Reassure your spouse that your opinion of them remains unchanged. Tell them that you still have complete confidence in their ability to do the job. An example of this relates to a busy wife caring for small children after school. She would like to get everything done smoothly and have a presentable home. This can be a stretching time. Things do not always work out as planned. When the husband comes home from work he may find frustration, anger, or exhaustion. The wife may be disappointed and feel like a failure. Getting the children to do homework, complete normal housework, and preparing the evening meal is very demanding. Her long term goals may relate to children and home. The husband can show love and support for his wife without discounting her effort. . She needs words of encouragement that she is capable and is doing a good job. Be available to help, but let her take the lead to determine the best solution. We need to be aware of when the partner needs encouragement and just as important, how to effectively administer it. In summary, there are a number of specific things that help promote a marriage reenergized by encouragement: * Spend time learn what is important to spouse. * Encourage action to initiate goals. * Sensitivity to timing. Allowing spouse to work through issues. * See the issues from the other partner's perspective. * Refrain from being critical or judgemental. * Major on positive characteristics. * Not acting as though you are going to carry the other spouse through problems with logic or superiority. What the spouse wants and needs is warmth, empathy, and respect. This requires ample doses of humility, patience, and self control. It is a growing process that can start now. There are a number of growth areas that typically relate to wives or to husbands. See the following discussion. Showing honor towards wife Encouragement is vital in this area. A wife's esteem is impacted by how she perceives her position in the husband's life. She should be the most valuable possession to him on earth. This comes from a marriage reenergized by encouragement. The husband should be sensitive to his wife's needs and give priority to meeting these areas. Both verbal communication and actions are necessary. When esteem is missing, the marriage relationship suffers and family unity along with it. Verbal communication is very important. The words we say may be fine, but the way we communicate often times brings down the spouse. The following items are very helpful for making marriage reenergized by encouragement. * Frequently voice approval and praise for what she has done. Do this in front of others and in private. * Find out what she wants to hear. What really matters to her. Sensitive issues should be addressed in a timely manner. * Emphasize clear and well defined objectives and direction. * Unspoken goals and intent lead to confusion. Address negative issues with gentleness and understanding. * Share inner feelings. * Consider carefully wife's insight and feelings. In addition, a marriage reenergized by encouragement requires a positive change in how we work together. Partners need to consider decisions and actions that will build up each other. Some key actions are listed below. * Give her control of her domaine. The husband must take the lead in establishing wife's position. * Physical comfort and touch. * Listen showing understanding and concern. * Respond strongly, positively to her emotions. * Define overall standards for the family and stand by them. * Live unselfishly. Activities and possessions don't revolve around him. * Forgiveness that is quick and active. The wife needs to be secure that she is loved even though not perfect. Showing honor towards husband The husbands esteem is often tied to his perceived significance and the respect that he receives from his work environment, family, and friends. He needs to know that the wife accepts and believes in him and trusts him. Husbands are not perfect and it can take years to become comfortable in this role. A wife can encourage her husband through actions and attitude. Husbands are greatly impacted by the responses of their wives. Communication and sensitivity are essential to successfully carrying out the following actions: * Give genuine compliments for skills and talents. * Show appreciation for what is accomplished. Praise him in public for his accomplishments. * Allow and promote his leadership in the home. * Speak with respect and empathy. Deal with difficult issues in private. * Express faith in his direction and ability. * If something isn't working right, don't belittle. Thank him for the effort. * Don't demand immediate answers. Show confidence that things will work out. show patience. * Understand his personality and communicate with warmth, empathy, and respect.